once again i've left a gap between entries on here and i'm really sorry. it's taken me a long time to get out of that dark spot i was in before christmas. i did this entry before christmas, but it seems very appropriate for now, being new year, as it depicts adjustments, albeit only minor ones, that i have made to my lifestyle, in order to make it more enjoyable to me.
( close-ups of the pages )

okay, so i have been a horrible, terrible, awful person. this week i've been in what's known as a serious depressive spiral and so, despite perservering with collecting stuff on the street, i haven't updated this. i'm sorry. i'll include the concluding part of that idea in this post to make up for it.
so, my map of where i went today basically details a christmas shopping expedition pete and i made (got pretty much everything. hooray!) and then our subsequent grabbing a dvd and gravy granules (for the toad in the hole i made tonight which was yummy) and going for a coffee and a browse in waterstones.

so, on with the update:

( maps and ephemera make a good combination )

i'm so tired, so i'm sorry i won't be very articulate tonight. i began this idea today, and shall be doing it for 7 days. i'm going home this weekend so i don't know that i'll be able to update very much but i will try to do periodic updates. \
i enjoyed doing this today. really looking at what was on the floor. made me sad about litter though.

( looking at the ground )

so, here is the idea i did today. it's turning out that i'm following the list in as near numerical order as i can get. i kind of like that.
a little bit of contextual information about why i selected the poem i did:
tonight i had a tea party, with probably the only person i've really connected with down here. we had an amazing time just talking and drinking tea and eating cake, talking about music, books, poetry, friends, life, family, university, everything. i feel so glad that i've got a friend down here. it makes me feel so much more hopeful for my future at university, which is good, as my situation now is not the best. but yes, she recommended this poem to me tonight, and when i looked at it, it seemd so appropriate to my finally realizing the value of hope:

(  'hope' is the thing with feathers, by emily dickinson )

so i've only just had the chance to update now. i wanted to colour this in but i'd have been late for my radio show. still, i think i kind of like the simplicity of it. it looks a bit like outlines.
i drew my lunch, rather than my dinner, as i've only just eaten dinner now (consisted of potato wedges and dip. i was too tired to cook properly) i only really learned one lesson from this exercise, and that is that:

( drawing fusilli pasta is seriously hard )

so i bought my teacup. i think it's gorgeous.
i had such a nice walk to go get it as well. gunwharf quays, the shopping centre round here, is adjacent to the harbour, so i stopped there for a minute, clutching the railings and watching the sun set and the boats sail. it was wonderful.

i resisted the urge to use it while i was writing notes on critical literary theory for uni today, because i'm trying to instil a sort of pavlovian instinct in myself, in that i'll use this teacup when i'm doing something creative, like writing, knitting, cooking, or drawing, and i will use a 'chalkboard mug' that i have, which you can write things on, for my uni work. it's practical, because i tend to drink coffee when working, and i can write things that will motivate me and keep my spirits up on it, as despite the fact i think my work is very interesting, it does get a bit diheartening if you spend a whole night working on an essay because you procrastinated, no? so yes, my idea of the pavlovian nature is that if i use these mugs for these seperate enough occasions i will train myself into getting into the right frame of mind to actually do them a lot quicker by association with the mugs. crazy? maybe. but let's try it regardless.

( cups and mugs and...pavlov? )

so anyway, i saved my teacup for after i'd done all my work, so i could have some time to sit down and be quiet and think and write. and i've had a nightmare day, but just putting aside time for myself this evening has made me think about the positives rather than the negatives. i thought, even though the idea was just to buy/use the teacup, you guys might want to see what came out of me just relaxing and thinking and drinking my hot chai latte:

-i'm grateful to be able to be here, learning. today, just one day's worth of lectures, we covered so many authors it makes my head spin. here's the ones i can remember: foucalt, stephen greenblatt, mary wollstonecraft, virginia woolf, anna jameson, jonathan swift. i could never cover that much, and learn so many new things, reading in my spare time. and it's all so interesting, even if it is hard work sometimes.

-i'm grateful to live in quite a pretty city, where there are nice places to take walks, plenty of places to sit and watch people or get lost in thought, and i don't really ever get bored.

-i'm glad for my parents having raised me so that i can look after myself. i've eaten so well since i got here, i've looked after myself properly, and managed my money. i have my parents to thank for this.

( also.... )

so this is where i started. i would have done it in complete numerical order but it's pouring down with rain and anyway, i feel better about not working too rigidly with a structure.



( the whole thing )